Thoughts about moving to Ipoh

When I tell people that I’m moving to Ipoh, inevitably this dreaded question comes up:

“So what are you going to do in Ipoh?”

I’m going to be honest af right now- every time I hear that question, my heart beats faster, my mouth gets drier, and I smile (the type that doesn’t reach the eyes) while I say, “I don’t know yet, I’m still looking”.

Then usually they will give me like a “nevermind you’ll find something” and I’ll reply “yeah…” and just trail off awkwardly.

I don’t know why I’m not out and proud declaring that I’m going to be a full time entrepreneur. For goodness sake, I have a running online business called Kotak Koffee. I’m going to expand the business and make it reach new heights. Now I have more than enough time to dedicate to marketing it, and getting more products in. I could employ someone to help me with the work. Kotak Koffee has so much potential, and Ipoh is damn near perfect to continue Kotak Koffee’s expansion.

Click on the logo above to check out what I sell.. although the tagline is a dead giveaway

So why am I not … confident… about being an entrepreneur?

Never mind, I know the answer. It’s plain ol’ fear.

I’m scared shitless right now. I’ve always been a stable, predictable income kinda girl. I like surety. I love certainty.

Part of me is like, what if you fail?

Shit, what if I fail?

Dammit, so what if I fail? Failure is a learning process. Some of the biggest names in business failed many times. Just get back up again.

Says the numerous entrepreneurship articles I scoured. Written for people of privilege, who probably have a backup trust fund or two. I do not have a trust fund- I’m operating this business out of my own pockets and yes the thought of losing it all is very, very scary.

As a born optimist and somewhat overachiever, these feelings of insecurity are very, very foreign. I’m extremely conflicted. So much that I updated my CV and sent out some job applications so I will have a backup plan.

But that’s the thing. If I already have a Plan B, am I not priming myself to fail? It’s like riding a bicycle with permanent training wheels juuuust in case you fall down – you end up relying on the training wheels rather than the wheels.

At the same time, Kotak Koffee business plan goes on. I have my name card all designed out and everything. But at the back of my head, I’m like, please call me for job interview please call me for job interview.

I guess I just have to breathe and take one day at a time. You know what, having a backup plan is not a flaw. This is just who I am – someone who crave stability. The funny thing is, I already achieve stability in KL. I could’ve stayed at my job but nooooo I had to shake things up a bit.

Meh. Being scared is good. Being scared means that I care. Have been feeling a bit too zombie lately. Let’s see if I can make it in Ipoh. Wish me the best, you guys.

EDIT Aug 2016 : Kotak Koffee is now dead. It’s considered a failed business. It’s ok, I survived somehow – I’m now a remote worker specialising in providing writing services 🙂

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3 comments

  1. I have also just moved to a new place for work, new life new work new environment.
    currently in the die die also must make it through period, stress ahhhh….

    Hope we both can make it! Wish you all the best!

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